Innalillah.
Allahyarham Hj Shariff Bin Ahmad telah pulang ke rahmatullah pada 21 dec.
Al-Fatihah khususan.
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haiy. it was seriously unexpected. too sudden in fact. eventho the doctors had warn us before hand, we were still unprepared. he gave us hints, we saw the hints, but it was abit too vague. we weren't able to put it together until then, when he left. only at that point, it all seem to make sense.

the picture of death seems so scary. it IS scary. when i saw him on that bed, stoned, pale&breathless, i dint wana believe that he's gone. i checked his pulse several times, touched his chest, till mama told me to inform the rest. the atmosphere was seriously blue. to see mom that way breaks my heart, but to watch atok leave breaks me even more.

after his body was being bathed, we were able to kiss him goodbye. one by one kissed him. first was his brother, followed by childrens then grandchildren. a big family who loves him dearly and felt a very big loss when he left. altho my tears wanted to roll down, i kept myself strong just so that he's "roh tak berat" when he leaves.

alhamdulillah, when atok dikebumikan, it went smoothly. i only hope atok's safe.
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oh, and it just so happen to be that everytime i wana cry, the only closest resort to hug is ain =.="
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3 nights have passed, and i've been dreaming of him fr the past 2 nights when i slept on his bed. i miss him. i miss his stories. i miss his pantun. i miss him singing fr me. i miss his voice, his smile, his laughter. i miss everything abt him. esp those funny events with him ):

21 december. aprox-ly 2.03am.
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nevertheless, i'm happy he left peacefully.
(:
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we had tahlil fr the first 3 days.

"eh. mak dah tkde, abah dah tkde. hari raye nk berkumpul patne?"-mak lim
"pat kubor."

=.="
wth? haha. i swear it was funny back then. anw. i'm glad i have 3 lovely aunts whose oh so lovely and caring, unlike someone whose comments are atrociously not needed. __

and and. i effingly hate my KL COUSIN, who thinks she's so WOW working as god-knows-what, and purposely comes to spore, having no cash fr the past god-knows-how-many-times, and abah will have to pay EVERYTHING fr her. not only that, EVERYTIME, we make a trip to KL, she'll happily tag along, and abah will have to pay fr her ALL her expenses too. FUCK YOU. you're not an adopted child here. have some heart & think abt all those times when you menyusahkan my parents. you wana come to spore, but you drive & park at jb, AND ASK MY DAD TO FETCH YOU AT LAKIN just cause it's expensive to bring in a malaysia car? nabeh chibai! kau fikir bapak aku ape?! KIMAK. BAYAR STAKAT $20. dah gitu takpe, kau ketok bapak aku habis-habisan, abeh bawak 3 ANAK SEDARE, yg BAPAK AKU pon kene beyarkan drg peih makan minom. argh! nk tdo pat rumah aku, tk bawak sabon tk bawak pape, baju nak pinjam, duit tk convert, nk tdo DALAM BILIK AKU, atas KATIL AKU. eh suar, sbelom aku koyakkan kau peih puki, kau lebih baik hentikan kau peih prangai yg mcm kurang diajar.

"wahh.. mak busu, anak-anak mak busu lucky eh.. ape-ape drg nak, drg dapat.."

still have got the cheecks to say this right infront of us. HAHA. why not just tell me that you envy us? why not just say that you're jealous, and you wana be one of us. well here's your 4.1.1. you CAN'T BE US, and you can NEVER be us. what? you've longed fr a father's love huh? well that's your fucking problem. he's MY FATHER. the only thing i wana say is, get a life bitch. kau peih bobal lebih manje dari kiter bodoh!

oh. you come to spore in a grp of 5, and you ask my parents out. i know the only car that can carry 7 peeps are abg's trajet. SORRY! if you intend to astray us from our parents, then i think you're dumb. my father will definitely think abt HIS ANAK-ANAK first. he owns a van okay. oh wait, no! 3 vans in fact. try to pull us away, i'll bet you can't. he LOVES us so much. we're his children, and you're only his wife elder sister's daughter. see how far you're related? yea, DREAM ON.
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you love to criticise my sister right? well you just wait. on the 40th day of tahlil, i'll be the coldest to you. i'll make sure you cant have my bed or my room. i'll make sure you're forced to convert your cash. i'll make sure abah doesnt fetch or send you to lakin. TAKE THE BUS HERE LA FUCK. TAKE 912. IT STOPS EXACTLY IN FRONT OF MY BLK. c'mon la! spore is a safe country, unlike YOUR hometown. pffft.

and oh, stop trying to speak english with me. cause y'know what? your english sucks and its not even as fluent as mine. __
fuck off bitch. you're not even worth a penny. you're not even worth anyth!
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i've given you signals, and yet you continue your doings. stupid dog. you're like dim-wit who persists on standing next to a hungry, roaring lion.

you're stupid as a dog.
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THE VENOM CLAMORS OF A JEALOUS WOMEN IS DEADLY THAN A MAD DOG'S TOOTH.

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i wanna watch the lovely bones. i wana buy that book! :(
and abah bought a new, cool van!!